Beyond ranting…

Horrid news. We lost the baby.
I was planning on deleting my previous two pregnancy related posts but have decided to leave them up here. I can’t erase the fact that I was pregnant and I don’t want to erase the evidence.

Over the last few weeks I had been writing a blog entry that was very raw and emotional. I had a large amount of anger to release and I felt that unleashing this rage upon the people in my life was not necessarily the best thing to do (those who know me can thank me with an alcoholic beverage of your choice). I chose instead to victimize my computer keyboard. I pounded out a lot of rage and so far the salty tears have not affected my computer.

I find writing to be a great outlet and even slightly therapeutic so I thought maybe posting my thoughts up here would be an opportunity to release the rage. I have since had second thoughts. After rereading my potential post I decided that if I choose to allow this bit of writing to be examined it might serve me better in the hands of a therapist rather than floating around on the internet.

Thankfully the healing process is under way and the overwhelming emotions have begun to dissipate.

My husband, friends, and family have surrounded me through every heart wrenching step of this physical and mental horror. Without these incredible people I would be lost. I love them all.


3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by brokenengine on August 3, 2007 at 2:25 pm

    I am so so sorry Nikita. There’s nothing I can say to help, but I can say KEEP TRYING. It will be all that much more amazing. Stay strong.


  2. Posted by Nikita on August 3, 2007 at 2:32 pm

    Wow… thanks. 🙂


  3. Posted by Nikita on August 3, 2007 at 8:23 pm

    To explain my rushed response from earlier today:

    The “Wow… thanks.” was in appreciation of the kindness of strangers.

    Thanks brokenengine, kind words are always helpful.


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